School beckons and other thoughts

It's weird to go to school on a gloomy Monday morning. The sky was overcast the whole day today, my mom kept telling me it's haze, but I think it's just the clouds. Anyway, the start of school should be an aniticipating moment but well, somehow I am not very anticipated to go to my lectures, rather I'm feeling constipated. Various thoughts run thru my puny head - What if I get a lousy lecturer, what if I find I cannot survive in this module, what if my project mates are a hopeless bunch, what if... Plenty of what ifs but no answers to them. I know God has a plan and purpose when I prayed before the bidding of my modules. I handed the success of the bidding to Him and with what I got, I should thank Him and do my best in those modules. That's what I know, but I forsee that it's not what I am going to do - it's human nature i guess. Well, school is still school with all the problems but I've considered myself blessed as not everyone gets a chance of education at the uni level. So I've to depend on God to guide me in the modules rather than depending on my human nature.
Went for Bible class on Chuch history by Pastor Zhang. It's the last lesson of this topic and I've got to say that I'm impressed. Looking back at history makes me wonder how people cope with their problem then and how much differently are we doing so now, especially in the area of evangelism, I can say I am not lifting my finger the least to evangelise. Somehow or rather, I've kind of psycho-ed myself that I don't have the gift of evangelism. Again, it's the darn human nature that's playing a fool here. I guess it's my inability to talk sense that I find myself not convincing to others. It's something I definitely have to work on in my years to come as a growing older and older Christian and an exemplary role in church.