Fairytales are beyond stories, they are written dreams..

Had a good dream last night. Ooo, how nice if it was true but like I always say, 日有所思，夜有所梦。Seems like I've been occupying myself with thoughts of it. *shakes head* trying to clear them out.

Come back to reality, my boy. Stop thinking and work hard towards the dream if you want it to happen!

Hey Hey

There's something new to discover everyday for this curious little boy!! I found out today that in National Library, the air con is super super cold, the blinds are automated, there's free but quite slow internet and it's a good place to study. Happened to be there on a Sat afternoon cos there was no YF. Busily typing my essay while multi-tasking with other things like chatting, googling, reading and etc. The wonders of youth culture!!

Thought a lot about things that may soon come to past. I'm sure of my direction and it seems to be heading in the correct way God wants it to be. Don't really know how it will turn out but I'm sure the promises of God doesn't fail.

Not one word has failed of all the good promises he gave (1 Kings 8:56)(NIV)

Decisions

After months of prayer and asking around. I've decided to not do particularly anything drastic but adopt a wait and see attitude towards the whole matter. I know that God leadeth the path ahead and I just have to rest in His care for all things to work out just exactly as He has planned in my life.

"For I know the plans I have for you" declares the LORD "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"
Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

爱

1 Corinthians 13:4-8


爱 是 恒 久 忍 耐 ，
又 有 恩 慈 ；
爱 是 不 嫉 妒 ；
爱 是 不 自 夸 ，
不 张 狂 ，
不 做 害 羞 的 事 ，

不 求 自 己 的 益 处 ，
不 轻 易 发 怒 ，
不 计 算 人 的 恶 ，
不 喜 欢 不 义 ，
只 喜 欢 真 理 ；

凡 事 包 容 ，
凡 事 相 信 ，
凡 事 盼 望 ，
凡 事 忍 耐 。

爱 是 永 不 止 息 。

Turning back

After months of not doing my daily QT, I picked up the QT book again. I looked at it, somehow 它认识我，可我不认识它。It feels just weird to restart QT again. Was thinking back how it all started. Initially, I would remind myself to definitely do QT the next day if I slept b4 doing it. Then came the excuses, 'I'm tired', 'I'm busy', 'It's just another day of no QT' and etc. Finally came the point of guilt-freedom to it. No reminders, no excuses just plain bo chup. I feel overwhealmed just thinking back on these thoughts. Why is man such a fallen creature? Do we really have no inclination towards holiness and purity? These questions need no answers. These few months of neglect has left me very distant from God, though I don't seem so, but I feel extremely empty inside. Not just mentally stressed by school work, but also spiritually drained. As I turn back from these dark periods, I hope this psalm will become my prayer and may it be a prayer of encouragement to others.

Psalms 51

1 Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions.

2 Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.

3 For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me.

4 Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest.

5 Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me.

6 Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.

7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

8 Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice.

9 Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities.

10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.

11 Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me.

12 Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.

13 Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee.

14 Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, thou God of my salvation: and my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness.

15 O Lord, open thou my lips; and my mouth shall shew forth thy praise.

16 For thou desirest not sacrifice; else would I give it : thou delightest not in burnt offering.

17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.

18 Do good in thy good pleasure unto Zion: build thou the walls of Jerusalem.

19 Then shalt thou be pleased with the sacrifices of righteousness, with burnt offering and whole burnt offering: then shall they offer bullocks upon thine altar.

Realisations

One essay is over but one more is on the way.
Pray for strength, Eggy. God will give you what you need to pull thru.

As I start to mature over the years, I find that God has chiselled off many rough edges.

Lately, it dawned on me that beauty isn't just skin deep. Look at a person from the inside to the outside and not the other way round. I had always been doing the exact opposite. All along, I used the external beauty to cover the inner flaws liken to sweeping things under the floor. Flaws will be flaws and they need to be corrected not concealed for when beauty fades, the flaws will be exposed.

Now, I know that inner beauty will shine forth much greater than the shortcoming on the outside. But the best thing is inner beauty never fades!!

To all beauty seekers out there, beauty and appearances are deceiving, look deeper to understand the truth meaning of beauty.

Week 9 and counting...

As the essays and project deadlines start to come closer, it also means another thing.. Exams are just soon to come. This week is week 9 and soon when term ends at week 13, exams will cloud everyone's mind. All is moving too fast and sometimes I wonder if I can keep up with the pace. I seem to grow tired as the time moves on, lack of motivation, lack of sleep, lack of this and that and all the what nots.

Gotta remember... Time waits for no man!! Move on and press on..

Dreams

I had a dream.
A bad dream.
A dream that haunts.
A dream that returns.
A weird dream.
One that will never happen.
One that will be naught.
A silly dream.
Never to happen again.
Never to happen again.

Shooting ( photos and guns)

hey people, yup, that's air rifle if you wanna know. And it's me!! Took this photo when I was having training yesterday.. Do I look cool or what.. Hahaz.

Anyway, I had my selection shoot on Wed and it seems pretty bad to me. Guess I was too nervous and couldn't concentrate at all.. FOCUS is the key in having a good score.

Yikes!!

Got back one of my essays and test this week. Pretty discouraging results, a C+ for the test and a B- for the essay. Not what I was hoping for. I usually score A- for essays and B for tests but with results like these it's kinda depressing, but on the other hand, it may show that I'm on the slide since the grades for both of them dropped. Hmm, is it time to pull up socks and get down to do some studying?

Exams are in 5 weeks time, it's seems far but in fact it's very near *cringes in fear* boohoo, am feeling quite down now...

Thoughts at the end of an essay

Finally I'm into my final leg of my essay writing. But then when one is done, another will appear, it's always the case. We are all chasing deadlines, no matter working or studying. Deadlines or in chinese '死线'. well, I'm actually kinda happy that this essay is ending as it had been affecting my spiritual walk. i neglected all QT during this period amounting to a month of spiritual malnourishment. But then I need to thank God for the various encouragement I have received from brethren and pulpit messages. Although I neglected Him, but He never gave up on me. He's always the constant friend but also we have to be reminded that He is a consuming fire.

10 words per minute -> 1500 words in 2.5 hours!!!

If only every essay was that easy... Can't believe that after 3 days of churning, I am still fumbling with it. Books towering over me, lecture notes and readings all strewn across the study table, highlighters all over the place.. It's like a WAR zone!!! Arrgh..

Ok now,
Breathe in, Breathe out.. Close the eyes.. imagine some place where you'd like to be.. Relax and...

Back to the essay again... :(

Busy busy!!

And so the essay machine has ignited...

word after word is churning out of my brain onto the computer screen. It's just so queer and a little nonsensical that just a moment ago, I can't think of anything to write, but with the injection of just one sentence I can go rambling on and on and I had 500 words in for the 1200 word essay.

Amazing eh.

Sometimes, I don't even know how good I am myself. A little egoistic here.. hee but praise goes to God. yup yup, He guides my every footstep and finger tap. He guides everyone else's too (like Joyce's.. :p )

Note note.. This is my 51st post. Kinda slow eh..

Suffering from Zzleep depravation

It's weird how God made sleep for us to rest and recover. Have not been having much rest for the past 2 days, the total hours I've spent sleeping totalled up to ard 9 hours. Although I managed to still go around doing the daily stuff, my brain doesn't seem to be working at it's full capacity, neither the eyes which can never seem to open more than a slit.

Sleep is just such an amazing thing. Imagine if the ability to sleep is taken away, it would be such a disaster. No wonder insomia is a major medical problem nowadays. Need to sleep soon to recharge myself.

Time to head for the sack!!