Happiness 1

‘I’m sorry. But I simply can’t love you.’

Carolyn hugged Joshua tightly from behind, like a castaway clutching on to a piece of driftwood for life.

‘No!’ she cried out, ‘I don’t want it to be like that,’ she exclaimed almost to the brink of hysteria.

‘I can understand the feelings you have for me, but I can’t accept it. I can only say sorry to you,’ he consoled her with his ever soft and comforting voice.

‘Why? Why can’t you accept my feelings? Am I not worthy for you? Tell me what’s wrong!’ she blurted out. She could never imagine that her first confession to him would result in a calm yet painful reply from Joshua.

Joshua pried the arms that encircled him and turned to face Carolyn. He clasped her hands and said, ‘Carol, you are a nice girl and there’s nothing wrong with you. But I’m not qualified to love you as I am not able to grant you happiness. My heart belongs to someone else. I’m really sorry.’

All along, Joshua knew that Carolyn had feelings for him. But in his heart, there was a certain someone who was his source of happiness. Therefore, so as not to delude Carolyn any longer, he decided to reject her tactfully. But, no matter how tactful the rejection was, it was bound to have its repercussions.

‘No.. I don’t want your apologies! I don’t want you to say you’re sorry! All I know is that you can bring me happiness.. and I do love you! So what if there is another person in your heart, I only want you to love me!’ Carolyn blurted out amidst the flow of tears that kept streaming down her cheeks.

Joshua looked at Carolyn and said, ‘You must never like me, for I will only bring you sadness, like now.’

‘But.. I.. only want.. to love you..’ Carolyn looked at him with her tear stained eyes.

Joshua, as he wiped her tears away looked at her, filled with guilt. He always believed that a man should not let a woman cry, especially Carolyn who has always been so strong. He could only feel sorry for her and nothing else besides that for his heart could not be shared with another person.


---to be continued---