Doubting Egg

Why Do I Have Doubts?

I cannot understand why certain things are played out in a certain manner. I should know that God is in control but yet somehow I just cannot accept the reality as truth. I guess I'm childish over it, not accepting the truth as truth. My childish side wants to change reality, wants to alter the present and create the future. But it's all just wishful thinking. I can only sit and sob and let the harsh truth of reality hit me in the face.

Things beyond my control just makes me frustrated. I find myself incomplete and a loser, unable to do anything. What is God proving? To bring me down so that I can depend on Him? I'm not so sure anymore. Maybe I should just hide away until the dark clouds passes. Or I should walk hand in hand with God and face the storms? To say again, I'm not so sure anymore..

Prayer, talking to God is going to be my only comfort here. I hope.

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